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Guide to Spiritual Healing | Overcoming the loss of a loved one

Spiritual Infections

Experiencing death often leaves a wound in our hearts that will continue to bleed until it gets healed. If left untreated, this spiritual wound will bleed out and turn into a "spiritual infection". Spiritual infections can range anywhere from drug addictions, to speaking to the dead, and even blaming yourself for the person's death leaving the person in a perpetual state of guilt and shame. The potential responses are innumerous but they all share a common denominator, an open wound.

Closing the wound

Before we go to far, we need to address a few things. First, it's not God's "fault" the person died. God created all things (John 1:3), and when God declares His word, it's immediately established as truth because He is the truth (Psalm 119:160). God's holiness and righteousness is supreme, when we make accusations and statements like, "It's God's fault for xyz" or "it's not fare God would end their life..." we're trying to make the Supreme Creator answer to our own standard of righteousness and this is wrong. God doesn't owe us an explanation and he doesn't have to answer to our own skewed standards of righteousness.

God gave mankind one rule in the garden, Genesis 2:17 "of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." Adam's sin introduced death to all mankind, Romans 5:12 "as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned" We ALL die because we sin, Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death..." and I want us to take a moment to truly appreciate this truth. There is no confusion regarding death, we will never have to wonder where people go after they die because we have the ultimate closure! People either go to heaven or hell, and it's solely reliant on them accepting Christ and repenting (Acts 2:38), and failure to do so sends people to hell, God doesn't have favorites, (Galatians 6:8).

What we're about to embark on is a "spiritual operation", and like most things in life, this operation is reliant on two things, money and time.

Knowing The Surgeon

We in Christ have access to many things by the Holy Spirit, but all of them require faith. Faith is a spiritual currency that purchases miracles, healings, and receiving spiritual healing is no different. You need to believe God can heal your heart and WANTS to heal your heart. His word tells us he wants to! Luke 4:18 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He hath anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He hath sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised" It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done, Jesus loves you and He wants to heal your broken heart!

The second thing this "spiritual operation" takes is time! We live in a "microwave/ tiktok / one-day-shipping" generation and it's only getting worse. We've had our attention spans trained to expect an immediate result and when things aren't immediate, we claim "it doesn't work". There is no "set time" to receive this healing from God, but you need to make enough time to really get in His presence. For most of you this will take anywhere from one to two hours.

The Operation


Like most prayer sessions, we have to start with true thanksgiving. Start by thanking the Lord for putting the discesed person in your life. If it was a parent, tell the Lord thank you for giving you a parent to honor and respect, no matter how the relationship was tell the Lord thank for putting them in your life.


We can't do anything without the Holy Spirit, and we need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us during this time. Below is a prayer to request to ask for the Holy Spirit's guidance, the power is in your submission to the Lord's guidance.

"Holy Spirit, I confess that I need you. I need your healing hand and I can't do this without you, no one can heal me except you and I believe you're able to. Please lead me through this healing, please remind me of any past trauma or pain and heal me as I confess it to you. I trust you, please fully heal and restore my heart in the name of Jesus Christ, for your glory."


Before we start, we need to get one thing clear, at no point are we complaining to God about the person's faults. Neither are we complaining to God for "taking them from us", humble yourself before the Lord and don't let these emotions control you. Those kinds of thoughts are from the enemy and need to be rebuked.

Objectively confess the pain you have, an example would be; "Lord, I confess to you that my heart hurts because my mother died. I confess to you that I loved her a lot and it hurts that I don't have her with me anymore."

Again, we aren't getting "lost in our pain" we're using confession as a tool to identify what pain we have so the Lord can remove it. This is the time you'll confess to the Lord any pain the discesed person might have caused you, again we're objectively stating the truth. If someone abused you, you're simply bearing witness to the truth. If you have any unforgiveness towards them, you need to give that forgiveness now.

An example, "God, my mother caused me a lot of pain when she would constantly tell me I'm not good enough. It made me feel like I was less-than. Please forgive me for hating her for this, I was wrong and disrespected my first authority."

Please understand, many of you are opening up decades old "band aids" that have been left unchecked from fear of dealing with the pain. You need to believe that as ugly as the pain is, God's love is able to heal it! For each confession of pain you have to make, it might help to jump down to the healing part to receive healing for each issue.


It all leads up to this, the healing of the Holy Spirit is a moment, an event, the best way to describe it, is a weight leaves and peace replaces it. Let me again remind you, Jesus loves you so dearly. He's given us access by His blood to receive lifechanging healing. God's love for you can't be changed, or lessened, He loves you and wants you healed. It's not His will for you to suffer any longer!

It's simple, ask the Holy Spirit to heal you from the pain you just confessed. For some, you'll receive the healing right after you ask God to heal you, and for the others, keep reading.

Example confession, "Jesus, I confess to you that I miss my mother, but I trust your word knowing she is either in heaven or hell. Please take this pain out of my heart and heal me Lord."

Confess the pain, ask God to heal, and believe God's love is sufficient.

At this point in the prayer session, don't stop asking God to heal you. Ask until something happens! Sometimes God heals you through a word of wisdom, other times you'll feel a weight leave, and sometimes you'll go a few days and realized you've completely moved on.

Everything I'm describing is an action in the spirit, like riding a bike. It won't make complete sense until you get on and give it a try in faith! We are using words to help kick our spirits into the right place, but nothing will happen if your heart isn't in the right place. As you confess these things, let your heart rest in the comfort God's word gives us regarding death, believe God is actively healing you as you ask Him, and simply receive the love of God.

Soul Ties

Relationships with loved ones are often open doors to soul ties. Cutting soul ties with lost loved ones can help get back your peace and mind so you can move on. Below is a quick prayer to break soul ties:

Lord, please forgive me for having a soul tie with [person's name]. In the name of Jesus Christ, I cut my soul tie with [name of person]. In the name of Jesus Christ, I release every part of their soul back to them and I command every part of my soul that is in their possession to come back to me in the name of Jesus Christ. I apply the blood of Jesus over my whole soul. Jesus, please purify and cleanse every part of my soul and bring every part of myself back to me. Please help me to be more guarded with my relationships and to never put anyone higher than you, in Jesus name.

Quick Review


  • Thank the Lord for putting the person in your life

  • Thank God for letting you have good memories with them


  • Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through this,

  • Ask the Lord to reveal any details you might have forgotten


  • Objectively tell the Lord the pain you feel

  • Give forgiveness for any wrongs they committed against you

  • Ask for forgiveness as the Holy Spirit reveals any wrongs you've committed against them and the Lord


  • Confess the pain

  • Ask God to remove the pain and heal your heart

  • Believe God's love is sufficient

Keeping the healing

From ash remains to personal belongings, you need to move on. These things just cause you to relive the pain God just healed. When God heals you there should be no attachment to any physical items. As a child of God, you should NEVER pray to the dead, not for the dead, nor any of these things. The dead are either asleep in Christ, or in Hell. It was their choice to accept Christ or not, don't get caught up on trying to figure out if they went to heaven or hell.

I hope this teaching has helped you get closer to Jesus and discover the healing Christ has promised! If this has been a blessing then be a blessing, share this post with anyone you know! You can even take this guide and walk others through it as a vessel of God's healing.

Real change happens when you make real confessions before the Lord, check out this recent blog post to get a deeper understanding of what true repentance means:

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